The Loud House's 100th M Rated Fanfic Spectacular!
by Rsizzle34
Summary: The Loud siblings review multiple stories from the fanfiction website in anticipation of reaching their 1000th M rated story. Featuring a surprise guest appearance from the always sexy and handsome narrator :D


In the Loud family living room, the eleven Loud siblings sit with happy smiles on their faces. Lincoln, the only boy, stands up and begins to speak.

"Welcome, readers, to the Loud House Fanfiction 1000th M-Rated Story Special! Geez, we've gotta find a shorter name for that… but now isn't the time! We've got a LOT of stories to cover here, so we can't waste a second!"

"Thats right, Lincoln," his oldest sister Lori said, standing up. "As most of the readers know, a story being "M rated" means that it contains adult themes, and also can have graphic depictions of… well, since there are kids here, we'll just say "bad stuff."

"Yeah, dude!" Luna said from the armchair. "That means having sex!"

"Luna! There are kids here!"

"What's sex, Lori?" Lana asked her older sister.

"Ugh! See what you did, Luna?! Now I'm gonna have to explain what that means!"

"Guys, guys! We don't have time! We have to explain this stuff to the readers!"

"The readers? Oh, yeah! Not every fandom gets 1000 M rated stories on their part of . In fact, it's probably seen as creepy to have that many!"

"Buuut, seeing as how we're a house with 10 girls and 1 boy, I'm surprised we didn't hit this milestone in the first few days of existence!"

"Uhhh, thanks for that, Luan…" Lincoln said. "So, us being, well, us, we decided to do a review type thing! We're gonna read some of the great M rated fanfictions and give you our thoughts on them! How does that sound?"

"Great, Lincoln!" Lynn said as she hopped up from the couch. "AND, as a special surprise to the readers afterwards, we're all gonna take a shower together!"

"Yeah! Wait… no we aren't! Who said that?!"

 **-cough- I did -cough-**

"What?"

 **Nothing…**

"Ummm… okay then. So what do you guys say? Should we read some stories?!"

"YEAH!" the Loud kids replied in a cheer. Lincoln pulled up the website onto the computer and immediately went to Pornhub…

"Wait, no I'm not!"

 **Errr,** the M rated section of the fandom.

"Alright, stories, stories, stories…" he muttered, scrolling and clicking through the pages. "Ahhh, here's one that looks promising! It's called "Young Amore" by B. Bandit20!"

"OOOOOHHH, A LOVE STORY!" Lola squealed. "This should be good! What's it about, Linc?"

"Let's see… "Lincoln and Ronnie Anne relationship… RELATIONSHIP?!"

"Ooooohh, Lincoln's got a girlfriend!"

"She is NOT my girlfriend, thank you very much! And this story doesn't even look good anymore!"

"Aw, come on, dude! I want to see what happens!" Luna complained.

"Oh, fine! It won't be any good, though!"

 **One Chapter Later…**

The loud siblings looked on wide eyed as Lincoln finished reading the chapter out loud.

"...Chain of events that they set into motion. Huh."

Silence. Suddenly, Leni spoke up.

"EEEEEEEWWWWWWW! Why would you do that, Lincoln?!"

"What?! I didn't do anything!"

"You didn't do anything?! You and Ronnie Anne were getting it, dude!"

"Oh, come on guys, it's a story! This didn't happen!"

"Lori, what does it mean when Ronnie Anne sucked Lincoln's di-"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOKAY, Lincoln, I think we should choose a different story!" Lori said in a voice that meant he should immediately exit that page.

"OK, so what did we all think of that one?"

"Eh. It was decent…"

"I'm still mad at Linky for doing that to Ronnie Anne!"

"I didn't- oh, whatever! Here's another story!"

The siblings gathered around Lincoln and read the title.

"Eleven Kids and Counting?" Lynn asked, scrunching her face up. "I don't like where this is going…"

"Oh, lighten up! It's probably not even that bad! Uhh, Flagg1991, tell me this isn't bad…"

"Only one way to find out! Click that link, Linc!"

One paragraph into the story and the Loud kids are already disgusted.

"I don't like this guy! He seems creepy!"

"Wicked…"

"Oh, whatever! He isn't even a main character!"

 **10 Minutes Later…**

The kids sat with horror stricken expressions as Lincoln continued to read.

"Goodnight and God bless?! GOD BLESS?!"

"What the fuck was THAT?!"

"LUAN! Not in front of the kids!"

"What? We have to make this M rated somehow!"

"DADDY?! Why do you call yourself "BigDickDeacon23 online?!"

"WHAT?!" Lynn Sr shouted from the kitchen. "KIDS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Uhh, NOTHING, DAD! WE'RE JUST, UHH…"

 **-cough cough- fucking…**

"WHAT?!"

"That wasn't me!" he shouted, exiting from the story. "So, uhh, did you guys like it?"

"Well, grammatically speaking, I thought it was wonderfully written and structured. However, the entire "Christian sex cult" aspect greatly diminished my opinion on the entire thing."

"I thought it was awesome, dude! Especially the part about Bon Scott! STROKE THE FIRES OF HELL, BABY!"

Luna made the devil horns with her fingers, but was stopped before she could spread her legs.

"Luna, Lola and Lana are right there!"

"So? We gotta make this M rated SOMEhow!"

"Oh, just close your legs! Who even was the guy who wrote this? Is he popular?"

"Uhhh, actually, yeah! He's got over 75 stories about us on here!"

"Well, read another one, then! This guy has talent!"

"I don't like him! He probably smells weird!"

The kids looked at Lola, who simply shrugged her shoulders.

"What? It's true!"

"How about this one?" Luan said, scrolling through Flagg1991's archive. "It's called "The 'Cest Kids!" I wonder if he spelled cyst wrong or something…"

"Welp, only one way to find out! Let's see… "All of Lincoln Loud children have something wrong with them." This sounds cool…"

"Ooooh, who's the lucky lady, dude? You've been getting some in this section!"

Lincoln felt his cheeks flush red as he turned back to the screen.

"I don't know, Ronnie Anne, probably! Now let's begin…"

 **17 Chapters Later…**

"...WHAT. THE. HELL?!"

"THAT WAS HORRIBLE, LUAN!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?! I'M A VICTIM HERE, I WORKED AT MCDONALD'S, FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

"Uhhhh, excuse me?!" Lola said, shoving Lincoln out of the way to get to the screen. "I am NOT that greedy and annoying, Flagg1991! When I find you, I'm gonna make you eat shit!"

"LOLA!"

"What?! I have to make this M rated somehow!"

"No, we don't," Lori said, trying to forget the horrible atrocity that she had just read. "Let's just say what we thought of the story and move on, alright?!"

"Well, I thought that it was disgusting! Lincoln is a monster, Lori and Luan were psychopaths, and I wasn't even in it! I was dead the whole time!"

"I-I'm not THAT bad! I would never, uhh, you know do, uhh…"

 **Have sex?**

"Yeah! Wait, who said that?"

"Lincoln, if you even TRY to touch me like you did in that story…"

"I WON'T! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"

"EVERYBODY QUIET DOWN!" Luan said, holding her hands up. "Luckily, whenever there's a cliffhanger ending, there HAS to be an epilogue somewhere! We just have to find it!"

"Uhhh, found it!"

The siblings once again crowded around the screen, looking intently.

"An Officer's Horror, by the ever charming, always handsome, and sexy as fuck fanfiction maestro SizzlR?"

 **Oh, you bet your ass I am!**

"WHO IS SAYING THAT?! Oh, well… whatever gets that last story out of our heads!"

 **10 Minutes Later…**

"Huh. That was a pretty tame M rated story, if you ask me."

"Yeah… is that even considered M rated?"

 **YES?!**

"Nah, there wasn't any sex or drugs involved… MASSIVE FAIL!"

"Well, at least it got rid of the negative perceptions of us portrayed in the previous novella. I, for one, enjoyed it."

"Well, you're the only one, then. Alright, what next?"

"Hmmm…" Lincoln thought as he paced around the room, suddenly snapping his fingers. "I know! We haven't even involved Lily in this yet! Let's see what stories there are of HER!"

"Poo poo! Poo poo!"

"Hey, I think she wants to see that too! Look one up, Linc!"

"Already ahead of you… "Play With Me, Daddy," by AbberantScript?"

"I already don't like this…"

 **5 Minutes Later…**

"YOU ARE A DISGUSTING MONSTER, LINCOLN!"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Lincoln cried out from the top of the couch as his sisters tried to tear him apart. "Blame Asshole Rent Crypt or whatever his name was!"

"YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH LILY! LILY!"

"POO POO!" Lily yelled with an angry expression as she threw her rattle at him. Lincoln barely dodged it before getting back to the computer.

"GUYS! We aren't done yet! We still have to find more stories!"

"No, Lincoln!" Lori said with anger. "This is ridiculous! You've been having sex with everyone in sight!"

"IN THE STORY! I'M NOT-"

"GET HIM!"

"Uhh…" Lincoln said as he frantically messed with the menu control buttons on the computer. "Uhh, how about "It's Time To sin" by Lentex?! That sounds-"

"I'M GONNA RIP YOUR DICK IN HALF, LINCOLN LOUD!"

"LANA!"

"WHAT?! THIS HAS TO GET AN M RATING SOMEHOW!"

"Ok, uhh… "Bonding With Lincoln" By Batdude365!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"AHH! "BABY DADDY BOBBY" BY-"

"Lincoln couldn't finish the sentence as he was grabbed by his sisters, who dragged him to the front of the room and began to strip him naked…

"What? No we didn't!"

 **Oh, my God… that's it! I'm coming in!**

All of a sudden, the door slammed open, revealing the shadow of a tall, handsome man who looked like…

"...Moe from The Simpsons?"

"What?" he said with a confused look. "No! No, I'm not Moe from The Simpsons! I'm SizzlR! The writer?!"

"... Never heard of you, dude."

"Yeah, sorry man, doesn't ring a bell…"

"Seriously?! You LITERALLY just read a story by me!"

"Ooooohh, the one that was rated M but was really boring?"

"NO! Well, yes, that was the one, but IT WAS NOT BORING! It was the culmination of what a great fanfiction should have been!"

"Oh, whatever… why exactly are you in our living room?"

SizzlR stood at attention, brushing himself down before beginning his speech.

"-sigh-Listen, guys, I know you started this review session with good intentions, I really do. But the truth is, the M rated section of your fandom is downright TOXIC. You're not gonna be able to read a story there without getting your dick sucked or your pussy eaten out. It's a fact!"

"Uhhh, Sizzle, there are kids here, you know…"

"But that doesn't mean anything!" He said, ignoring everything Lori just said. "The fact is this. This is a great fandom. It doesn't matter how many sexual fanfictions you have, or how many girls you screw, in Lincoln's case. You just gotta ignore this section if you want to be innocent, alright?"

"Uhh… your fly is down."

"What? Oh, shit, sorry!"

He turned around and pulled his fly up, turning back once he was finished.

"Anyways, do you understand?"

There was silence for a minute or two before Lincoln spoke up.

"Yeah… we should've known this wasn't a good idea when we started it."

"Yeah! We should have thought this out better! There was some pretty dirty stuff in there..."

"Exactly how I like it!"

"N-no, Lana, no… anyways, we're sorry, SizzlR. This was a mistake."

"Hey, don't worry, guys. Everyone makes mistakes! Now, knowing that I've accepted your forgiveness, why don't we play a game!"

Before you could say "Bodacious E," The Moe looking guy was brandishing a pistol in his hands.

"Alright, this is called "Talk and Die!" first one to speak loses!"

The air was tense as the kids all held their hands up, not wanting to die. The air was thick, and the tension was so foggy you could cut it with a-

"KIDS, THE LYNNSAGNA IS-"

 **BAM!**

Lynn Loud Sr's brains flew across the room, splattering the kids with bits of blood and bone fragments. It took a second to process, but when the kids realized what had happened, they began to slowly freak out.

"OH MY GOD! DADDY!"

"YOU KILLED OUR DAD?!"

Lisa vomited in the corner as Lincoln felt in vain for a pulse. He looked at SizzlR with disdain, a fire in his eyes.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, DUDE?! YOU KILLED HIM!"

"Uhh, yeah?" he said, brushing the dust off of his gun. "He talked! That's the game!"

"But why?!" Lori asked, hyperventilating through her sobs. "You didn't have to play that game!"

SizzlR shrugged, putting the gun into his pocket.

"What? I had to make it M rated somehow!"

The "Curb Your Enthusiasm" theme began to blare from the speakers as SizzlR turned to the camera, smiling.

"You guys think you're the only ones that can self insert, huh? I'm looking at you, Flagg! And Bodacious E! Anyways, thanks for reading! Here's to another 1000! Ta-ta!"

And with that, Moe from The Simpsons left the room, leaving the Loud kids sobbing in the middle of the room covered in their fathers innards.

 **Alright, so I name checked a few people! Who cares? Anyways, I want to thank everyone besides me that's written an M rated fanfic for The Loud House, because when you're rated number 4 on top 10 toxic fandoms, you gotta own up to it! All of the fanfics mentioned in the story are real and very, very good! I suggest you find and read them all! HAPPY 1000, LOUD FAGS! I LOVE YOU ALL! XD**


End file.
